


Acrostics

by Dehmer



Series: Prompts/Boredom/GO AWAY WRITER'S BLOCK [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: ? - Freeform, Angst, Depends on your Opinion, Incorporated Poetry, M/M, Possible Unrequited Feelings, Ratings may (will) change, Sibling/Parent Incest, Stridercest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-03-10 17:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3298514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dehmer/pseuds/Dehmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I've gone over it so many times in my head but that doesn't change the fact that I can't force myself to forget these 'feelings'.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No planning to this. Unsure whether to keep goin or not. I AM working on Young its just.....hit some bumps.
> 
> Opinions?
> 
> Also, can you guess the type of poetry used?

I can't look my brother in the eye anymore, can't land a decent blow during our strifes, can't even be near him without having to shamefully leave under the façade of a smile. And yet I can't turn my bloody eyes away. Not when he gives me that smile or small, perfectly placed, and veiled compliment. Not when he's moving so fast that I'm tempted to freeze time just to admire him, his skin, his body, his rushing grin, or even better yet those ochre rings.

But I don't and I let it pass, hoping this- this misplaced affection leaves with it. It never does and every time it comes back with a buckling vengeance. Evenings that used to be filled with the sounds of us enjoying the rare time together turned into a tense droning of mixing on my end with the music flowing from my headphones to my eardrums. The tension though... I wonder everyday if it's just me feeling it, an illusion of what I want. And god do I want it so much.

Rose encourages me. If only she knew who these feelings were focused on. I can imagine what'll happen if (when) she finds out. 'Oh poor disgusting Dave,' she'll think to herself. 'Lusting after the brother who raised him. What a sad freak.' Not that I could blame her. Nothing about what I feel is normal or safe or okay or even remotely acceptable. I've gone over it so many times in my head but that doesn't change the fact that I can't force myself to forget these 'feelings'. I think of anyone else and I get sick, halfie dying within seconds. I go and look anything up and if I don't see any resemblance, its disgusting. And if I do? That feeling comes immediately afterwards, ready to empty out my stomach and push all it has up and out.

It's disgusting, a mess of acid and chinese takeout and whatever else all half-digested.

I'm disgusting, a mess of feelings and want and undue need all mashed up into one body.

Disgusting.

 

_A chill dude is what I look_

_but I am nothing,_

_only a vulgar disgrace. Strider's my last name though_

_that's not everything I got. Ugly desires_

_only the sick of mind hold, I harbor_

_want and thoughts none should bear_

_and yet really,_

_I do. I'm never to act on_

_them I decided, never would or will nor shall yet look at me now. I_

_should be evicted from this_

_world but realistically my 'dearest' brother would never stand for it._

 

My name is DAVE STRIDER and my brother goes by the name Bro

 

_He is definitely hella rad. As the lil man I can't come in_

_close to even encroach on his territory, a place of sic beats_

_and ill raps. I can only gaze from afar and fall under_

_his sweet rule,_

_not like I mind much though. He's awesome and does the_

_best he can to support us, working so many jobs and hours that I worry he_

_may just kick that 'can' into a 'can't'. In short,_

_he's the Sweet Bro to my Hella Jeff and I'm okay with_

_that. The times we spend_

_can get really rancorous, especially when mixing not_

_sic but ill beats but these moments have been_

_rapidly, even drastically declining and it makes me sad to see_

_them quickly evaporate into shorter moments every time. Man, this_

_shit turned real sad, real fucking fast._

 

Not like it already wasn't though.

Like said above, my brother goes by Bro but his real name is DERRICK STRIDER. I know, right? Why does such a hot and cool guy have such formal and geeky sounding name?

Too bad that didn't put me off immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another bout of boredom and tiredness. Sorry for mistakes, its nearing midnight, (I'm on a normal sleeping schedule for once!! .....I'M GONNA FUCK SHIT UP.)

I give up. I honestly do. Its

so hard to keep going with this so I give up! I try

everything and try and try but nothing

really works. Worse yet,

I think my Bro has noticed my looks as

of late. It scares me to think that I might be slipping

up. Maybe he's

seeing a teen who yearns. Maybe he's seeing a kid on the verge. I want to say I don't care but

'legal truth' is I do. I do and I want to give up on caring because caring is hard and

yet- dammit!!! I'm slipping up! Bro calls me out on my wince

and I throw out an -albeit

mangled- insult like the disrespectful shit everyone expects me to be, even Bro. He scoffs and calls the strife

off anyways. Its a thing he once

never

EVER did before but as of late, has more often. Just another sign I'm

fucking

up. He tells me to get my ass to the bathroom. He tells me he thought I

could and would react fast enough. Tells me he cut too deep because of his assumption, because of his mistake. Tells me with a laugh that he should've

kicked instead.

Eventually, I curse and abscond as fast as I can, locking my

door just as Bro makes it to said door. He stays a few moments longer, silent. He leaves. I want to care but I can't. Just like I can't

undo my mistakes. I can't stop myself, I can't take myself apart, clean, and

put myself back in perfect working order. I can't. Wish I could and the wishing is the

kicker because wishing gives you hope and hope just sets you

up for

devastation. Yeah, I know,

 

I SERIOUSLY AM ONE FUCKED UP KID.

**Author's Note:**

> No planning to this. Unsure whether to keep goin or not. I AM working on Young its just.....hit some bumps.
> 
> Opinions?
> 
> Also, can you guess the type of poetry used?


End file.
